Can you help my web name?

As you can clearly see, I've been dinking around with my blog - thanks, in part, to very snowy Meg's blog (for a California chick, this is pretty good stuff!). I'm one of those that just can't leave well enough alone and as reported in the intense "I hurt" blog, I'm a pretty determined girl, at least with silly gadgets and apparently, blue snowflakes.

Did I mention I know nothing about HTML? My daughter had a semester in high school learning this stuff so she's pretty on top of it. Sorta. She's been impatiently helping me. Let me stress the impatiently part!! I'm grateful for her fancy, ridiculously over-priced Catholic education, even if she rolls her eyes at me constantly and grabs my laptop and will not show me what she's doing. Oh well. It's a work in progress, please don't think this snow angle here is sticking around in the current state she's in...but we're making ground. Abbey's currently not at home or I'd be making her fix this mess...so I'll just blog instead.

So anyway I need help. Beyond advanced psychological help.

I'm a running coach, amongst 3 other jobs I have. I have a client here and there; right now it's slow as races are all winding down and all but it will pick up after the Jan 1; I already have two new clients :). Anyway, I need to build a website. More of a running website but I also have a personal training certification and have had a couple weight loss clients in the past and do not mind this avenue, though I do want the focus on marathon or half marathon training.

With all that in mind, I need a name.

I have a practice website out there that a friend helped me with a lot earlier in the year (if you haven't quite figured it out yet, I am very computer illiterate!!). Initial thoughts were to use this site but the more I dove into it, the more I didn't like it. Nor the name. Well, it's time to re-register that name and I don't like it (trainwithjill.com). I don't want anything even remotely associated with my name in it. I want something inspiring but also maybe fun. Related to running but also not necessarily. Short and to the point so that too many keystrokes aren't going to be an issue.

The major problem is, most good running named websites are not available (and I have very little creativity). You can check availability on domainname.com but anything that I really like is taken. Which is to be expected...but it leaves me in a panic as I really need to get this puppy started before the end of the year.

Any ideas???

One I've considered is: mileswithin.com

It's available. A friend has offered to help me with website (did I mention I can't do a whole lot on the computer? :) ) and is off work the last two weeks of the year (like me :) ). He likes this name. I'm not so sure anymore. Anyway, I'm begging for any suggestions that you guys as runners would be drawn to!! Any and all suggestions are appreciated! THANKS in advanced!!

In running news: I blew off early morning run this morning with a girlfriend. I should have gone; I was a mess all morning and the conversation of a good female running pal would have been good for the soul but I was able to sleep in a bit more, which was also much needed. I dropped off Brendan at boxing this afternoon and went for a very hilly 6 mile run. Pace: 8:49. I wanted to go MP (faster) but because of the continuous steep hills, I'm ok with it. I could not, however, get my mind in a happy place and upon return, had a mini-meltdown and the tears started. I am worried about Tucson. I've GOT to this this mind under control and get my head on straight. Tomorrow I'm meeting running friends Dennis and Matt for the tail end of their 8 miler. They are super speedy and the last thing I need is to trash my legs 5 days before the marathon by running their fast 8 miler. But a couple miles with them would be good. Hopefully it will also help the ole mind to be around other running mates. Maybe they'll slap the crap out of me and scream GET OVER IT, JILL!!!! And similar get-your-act-together loving comments.

And oh, I am on an antibiotic for the sinuses. Yep, it's definitely marathon tapering time!! I don't even have to tell my doctor my symptoms, he just asks: What antibiotic do you want now? I really need to get this sinus stuff surgically cleaned out - springtime is a total nightmare for me. I dread it. But that's not going to happen, due to insurance issues, anytime soon.

Very excited for bloggers running CIM and Vegas marathons tomorrow. And a friend, Adam, doing Palm Beach!!!!

And then the day after....

Thanks for all the support on yesterday's blog. I had to get that out and needed a little pick-me-up support. You guys are the best.

I spent the entire day yesterday from the second I walked in the door from work until I went to bed, well past the 9:00 time frame I had hoped, in the cozy comfort of my warm flannel sheets and down comforter. I told my kids I was sick; essentially I was. I emerged for a brief evening meal of swiss cheese (protein!!) and a bowl of Cheerios (fiber!!) and quickly headed to my safe haven of the confines of my bed. Whew! Nothing like the warmth of my bed-ridden layers! I slept horribly, of course, and all day at work today I was in a tired funk and snapped at kids. I did apologize though. Cuz that's what nice people do when we offend others.

Yeah, yesterday was a total waste of a day.

But I think maybe I needed it. It made me appreciate the days I'm not lost.

I vowed not to repeat it today, despite it taking every ounce of will I have not to return. I can't even tell you how loud my flannel sheets were screaming at me upon return from school today. Oh man....they are sooooo warm!!!

I put on my running stuff, cranked out part of a writing project, pried twin 2 off the couch where he was starting to become part of it, and headed out in the balmy 12 degrees temps to the gym. (it's currently 3 degrees right now. I'm certain I've mentioned it a time or two...but I hate winter. No running outside in 3 degrees for me, I have my limits)

Having missed yesterday's entire workout (hard to run when when wrapped up in flannel and feathers), I thought I'd try to combine yesterday's weight/core workout with today's hill run. Fail. Ish. I got the hills in as I thought that was the more important of the two, but after 45 minutes of running, I had little energy left for any major weights. 15 minutes of some arm and ab stuff and I called it quits. I don't really know what I'm doing, I guess I lost my trainer. Running coach-Jill knows what to do on her own but marathon-tapering-stressed-having-had-her-trainer-always-do-the-work-for-her-in-the-past Jill is really just kind of a blob and winging whatever feels right. It's not my preference but... oh well.

Getting out and getting the workout in did the mind some good, though, and I feel slightly elevated from the gloom I was in all day yesterday and earlier today. That's a plus! Running certainly can heal!!! Let's just hope each day gets a little better and a little better and a little better.

I think I have sinus infection # upteen hundred for the year. Par for the course; every single time I have a major race, I get one. I ran up Mt. Evans this summer with a full-blown sinus and ear infection attack and on a strong antibiotic. My advice for y'all: never run up 4000' in 14.5 miles on a pretty major antibiotic with an inner-ear equilibrium imbalance. Wowwwzie. I seriously thought I was going to fall off that mountain. 1 week before Portland? Sinus infection. Boston? Yep. Tucson? My sinuses are bellowing, OUCHHH." Back to the dr. tomorrow and back on another antibiotic. Maybe I can get a pill to make me forget the pain ...and while I'm at it, one to make the legs run faster! To add to my sinus concerns stress, twin 1 AND 2 both have sore throats and not feeling up to snuff. Great!!!

It's now time to get up close and personal with my all-time favorite book for runners: Brain Training for Runners by Matt Fitzgerald (not to be confused with Matt M. running Tucson. At least I don't think so). This book was pivotal for my scrambled mind just before St. George last year so I'm hoping to go back and re-read a few page. Mental Girl (aka: Sensitive Girl) here needs a few therapy sessions. I took the book picture myself....I know, my photo skills are top notch! You really should read it - especially page 160 where it talks about feeling bad during running and running badly. Serious brain matter here I tell ya' - and I'd be the expert on all try-to-get-your-brain-focused-on-matter-at-hand running books out there. I have many.

Need to close by mentioning that I have totally gotten into marathon taper cozy/lazy-ness; evident by wearing slippers to school today. Well, not slipper slippers but my high top boot-type slippers. The kids love it when I dress like them; but my daughter thinks it's rather "retarded." No one ever said she wasn't honest. I took a picture of my favy slipper boots for ya, too. $21 at The Gap when using Friend and Family 30% off coupon two weeks ago. Score! It's not the Coach purse I'd really rather have...but I'll take what I can get for now. Yes, I also took this lovely picture and yes, I have my slipper boots on with my running tights. And yes, that's my toilet as a backdrop. And yes, that's my Boston '09 jacket on the floor next to my slippers. Gotta love myself sometimes!

One day at a time....

Game On

10 days to Tucson according to my snazzy countdown counter on the side, the one I spent about 2 hours trying to figure out how to plant there. 2 hours. Really? I didn't even know I had a 2 spare hours in my life for a simple gadget that doesn't really need to remind me how long I have to freak out about a race (in my defense, it was over the course of several days); that number is planted at the forefront of my every waking minute; I don't need a calendar to remind me. But I liked it when I saw it on someone's blog; it made me smile and I had to have one. I'm not one to easily give up on something I want (well, except that I want a trip to the Greek Isles, but I am also realistic; no sense in fighting for that one right now) so it's not a wonder I wasted so much time on a countdown calendar. I also think it adds some character and color to, dare I say it, an overly pink blog. I know!!! (gasp)

I don't know how I'm going to run in Tucson, I can't even guesstimate. My mind's so far removed from this race, I have no sense of awareness how I'll perform; I think my mind's somewhere bouncing around on Jupiter .... it's nowhere near the Tucson starting line.

And maybe that's okay, I'm not sure. I guess I'll find out in 10 days.

My e-friend recently had a touching blog post about mean-spirited people and I have to share parts of it because the words he resonates are my sentiments exactly:

People are mean. Not all people. But enough people.
It’s easy to live in my own little world. I like it here. I just get so mad when I venture into the real world and encounter people who are so intolerant, so insensitive, so holier-than-thou, so totally thoughtless that they can trample on other people’s feelings and then feel no remorse. I can’t help myself; I overreact. I argue. I scream. I mock. I go nuts...... When I see people getting hurt because of someone’s thoughtless, idiotic, pointless tirade, I’ve had it.

Right on, margarine. He has a good heart!

I'm a fairly highly-sensitive-overly-emotional-needy-at-times chick. Not always, but when enough stuff starts to build, I get frustrated and high frustrations tend to lead to a loss of composure. I'm certain, though, the sensitivity part is a constant; my feelings do get easily injured. It's trait of who I am. I can't change that, despite sometime wanting to. Most people tend to still like me. For the most part. It doesn't make me any lesser of a soul, it just makes me me.

I believe I have a heart of gold; there's not much I wouldn't do for someone that I care about, though others that know me could tell you for certain. I know I feel sympathy, compassion, sorrow and joy for them. Gratitude lubricates the engines of a friendship. I'm very grateful for my friends. I don't relish the thought of losing them.

But I don't have a lot of very close friends. I believe sensitive people tend to fall a little on the reserved side ... maybe it's a fear they will get too hurt. Who knows. But when compassionate people give their heart, they give it all.

I'm pretty bruised.

It's not a matter of what happened, the thoughtless act is done; it's the fact sensitive girl here WAS jolted by someone whom she let in and the ability to temper that hurt with an apology isn't a concern by the offending party. Apparently. Apologies aren't exclusively due to wrong-doing, they're also an acceptance to the realization their behavior inflicted harm. Maybe it's just me, but I think friendships are precious and if I unintentionally said or did something that hurt my "unconditional friendship" friend, I'd feel about 2" tall. I'd be doing whatever I could to make amends and steer it right. If I've somehow inflicted pain, I'm sorry. No. Matter. What. I'd rather apologize for something I said or did than to stand my ground to be "right" and lose something invaluable. If something has enough valuable to you, you fight for it! To have harmony. I pray to God that my children understand this.

But that's just me. I'm about human kindness.

It's hard for me to take someone I've been very emotionally dependent upon, trusted, and who was my rock and support system and just watch it blow away. Right smack in the middle of marathon taper time. As if stress for the race weren't enough, huh??

It's affected my sleep, nutrition, my running and training. How's that for stress!!??!!

I fight to get my mind focused on Tucson; I struggle daily. Hourly.

But yet, maybe it will be okay......maybe I'm not alone.....

Perhaps it's time for sensitive girl to close the lid on this matter, heavy heart and all - according to my snazzy countdown calendar, I gotta marathon to run in a mere 10 days! I may not be going with the one that talked me into this little adventure, and I'll always be sad about that, but I have others I'll be taking with me every step of the way. Including you guys. And maybe that's abundant enough.

If I have enough persistence to get a funky countdown calendar on my blog, I surly have enough determination to run 26.2 miles.

Game on, let's run!

Week 48/Gratitude

Week 48:
Week's running totals: 45.5
2009 running totals:1713.79
Weight/core training: 1.5
Swimming: 1
Days sans sugar: We're starting over as of today!

Gratitude:
- Raw almonds
- Dinner tonight with my dear friends the Clawsons
- My friend, M.B., who's been a rock this past week
- The color pink
- I got the pile of 8 million socks sorted last night (with only 9 single no-friends to top!)