Thursday, December 19, 2013

How to Race CIM in 38 Steps

I've run races 4x as large as CIM (Boston, Chicago) and none has been as clustered at the start as CIM
1) have friend (Katie) pick me up at 430am for 8000 hour drive to California.  In the coldest weather recorded on earth.  Ever.
2) drive an hour to realize said friend dropped her phone in my driveway when she picked me up.  Drive back to get it.  In rush hour traffic.  Actual departure time is now 3 hours later than planned.
3) stop in Laramie, WY to get gas.  Car thermometer reads a balmy -21 degrees (without windchill factored in). OhhhhMyyyyGodddd!

4) toes take eternity to thaw out, just in time to get out of the car again for more gas.
5) 3 dogs tagging along for the fun get into dog fight and bite Katie's finger.
6) adorable 4-year old, also tagging along, has a melt-down about being stuck in the car for 400 hours (who can blame her?).
6) stop in Elko, NV for the night in raunchy hotel.  If you've been to Elko (who the hell would?), 'nuff said.  If you haven't - no need to rush there.
7) day 2 of eternity car trip from hell: eat shit all day.

8) start to feel nauseous.
9) start to feel REALLY nauseous.
10) have Katie pull the car over 30x to get some fresh air so I don't barf all over her (and the kid and the 3 dogs...though 2 of the dogs may have deserved it).
11) consider a lobotomy.
12) laughed for 20 minutes when this song came on...

 12) Leave snow-ridden, freezing Colorado to finally arrive in California - to snow.  

13) arrive at Katie's parents' house only to instantly go lie down for 2 hours due to severe car sickness.  I'm such an awesome guest!
14) invest in multiple bottles of Pepto Bismol.
15) go for a 3-mile run; want to die at a 10:30 pace.
17) go to expo and receive the ugliest shirt in my 37 year racing career.

18) listen to speaker at expo announce to crowd, "32 degrees is freezing.  Seriously, 32 degrees is freezing, people.  It will be colder than freezing at race start.  Remember 32 degrees is freeeeeeeeezing temperatures..." 
19) not thinking California would be gunning for record low temps, I brought no freeeeeeeeezing temperature race apparel.
20) shop at Good Will for race-day throw away clothes.  Buy Pepto Bismol colored pink down coat (yes, the Pepto is now becoming a theme).  Gawd, I miss that coat.
21) Katie's aunt (who graciously allowed me to stay the night there, and fed me - or at least tried to) looked at me at our night-before-race dinner and proclaimed, "You look a little green."
22) Drink Pepto Bismol for pre-race dinner.
23) Drink Pepto Bismol for race morning breakfast.



24) line up at start line with 3:55 pace group.  Wonder what the hell I'm doing here.
25) face plant at mile 2 (yes, that's correct, this a road race).  Leave some skin on the pavement from the knee, tweak the shoulder, bruise the hip, and rip two half dollar sized holes in the palm of my gloves.  

26) try to run by effort and not look at my Garmin for assistance.  
27) bahahahahahaha!
28) effort feels too fast....so I speed up (and leave the pace group behind).
29) mile 10: think to myself that I should have done more uphill hill work (apparently 6 months of vertical Leadville training was fruitless when you take 4 months off from it.  Who knew?).
30) miles 10-20 are some of my fastest miles.  I feel great, perceived effort be damned.
31) mile 21 I start to slow.  Imagine.
32) mile 23 feels like death would be a better alternative to continuing on...then all of a sudden, Jesus appeared out of nowhere to read me my fate.

33) mile 24: trying to do math to see if I can still get under BQ time.  Impossible.  
34) By the grace of some unbeknownst force (which was NOT my will the last 3 miles), I....

Boston Qualified!

35) actually choked up when medal (also ugly) was hung on my neck; it suddenly occurred to me I just wrapped up what has been one helluva incredible racing year.  I truly couldn't be more grateful!  A storybook fairy tale ending. tear.
36) rectified ugly race shirt with new, awesome shirt!


37) gave Katie the BIGGEST hug when she crossed that finish line - her very first marathon - with absolutely zero stomach problems.  The girl's had one disastrous long training run after another due a protesting stomach. Thankfully (?) her mom recently had knee surgery and gave Katie one of her anti-nausea prescription meds prior to the race.  It worked like a charm, and Katie was beaming (and she didn't have to down 4 bottles pink chalk tasting crap, like someone).
Triumphant Katie!  SO proud!
I didn't copy this; I stole it.



38) Not my speediest, but for the effort I put going into this race, it was an incredibly amazing day!  And I was delighted to share it with this mighty fine woman!  

Time: 3:56:23
AG: 40/270

Run strong, my friends!

38 comments:

ShutUpandRun said...

Love these 38 things and that probably 20 of them contained pepto bismol references! Congrats to both of you. Woohoo for a BQ. Will you go?

One Crazy Penguin said...

Rock on, you! It amuses me that you with stomach problems is still ten time faster than me on my best day.

Also, looking to plan a trip out in February or April. Will keep you updated!!

Denae said...

Great post! Love the 38 steps. Great job on qualifying!!

Kandi said...

Awesome job! Especially considering you were a bit under the weather. It sounds like there was never a dull moment during your car ride! Glad you all made it and had great races!

David @Captain Speedypants said...

Great job. Congrats on the BQ also. Sounds like you had a very eventful trip, but having trips like that help you appreciate the the uneventful trips. haha.

Colorado Gal said...

Nice work on your BQ! ANd way to go on toughing it out through... all of that. Man, that's a lot of Pepto :)

Karen said...

1. We almost moved to Elko a couple of times. Backed out on all of them.

2. Freeeeeeeeeeeezing lol.

3. You are awesome!!!

4. Sorry we couldn't meet up.

5. I actually kinda liked the shirt. That color is super flattering on my skin. :)

Jenny said...

So awesome! :) Super proud of you!

Robin said...

Best post ever! This post made me laugh (sorry I was laughing with you not at you)! What an adventure and to top it all off with a BQ, that's super awesome. Congrats to you! That's a great placement as well. Woo hoo...

Kate Geisen said...

Hurray! And hilarious, but awful. That road trip doesn't sound fun at all, but it sure makes a good story. :)

Congrats again, girlie! Proud of you!!

bangle44 said...

Wow, a craptastic trip ends with a BQ! Way to not let the sh!t get you down. Congrats! And thanks for the funny story!

brg said...

yes - what an absolutely awesome year you had! you rock! :)

Amanda RunToTheFinish said...

while that was totally awful it was hilarious, you are quite the story teller. Congrats on everything going wrong except the race :)

EB said...

Best recap ever. Hopefully the ride home was much better.

misszippy said...

Loved this race report! A comedy of errors and it all worked out beautifully. Congrats on a great year of racing!

Teamarcia said...

Damn I think I need to get me some Pepto. Congrats to you and Katie! What is up with the ugly shirt and medal? You've had such a stellar year but yikes some of the medals pale in comparison.

Char said...

That's just so awesome! You are amazing. But I'm never going to ask to go on a road trip with you.

mighty termitey said...

you're cracking me up over here! love stopping in on your blog as it's always fun. xo

MERRY CHRISTMAS! and this year for the Boston we must hookup!

SupermomE12 said...

You are a ROCKSTAR!!!! Sorry about the rough trip and all the challenges, but it makes the BQ that much more super awesome. :) Hugs!!!!!

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

You rocked that race!! Pepto and all!!! Yay!!!

Mike said...

Congrats on the BQ, that is awesome! Feeling lousy on the trip has to make the BQ even sweeter. The dogs could have been the backup plan if you ended up barfing, assuming you ate something tasty :-).

Gracie said...

Congrats, crazy lady! Just thinking about racing on pepto has me ill.

ajh said...

Very fun race report. How great that you BQd in spite of nausea! You are a racing machine! What a great year you have had. A few years ago did you think you'd be back here?

Beth said...

wow, you are amazing!!! What a crazy adventure, you deserve that great race, you are one tough chick.

HappyTrails said...

You are the only person we know who "didn't train" (according to you) and can still BQ. You rock (we will overlook your tendency to fib regarding your training)!!! Despite some challenges, you have had a great year! Rest and recharge for a good things in 2014!!!

Paul Rodman said...

Hilarious post. Elko? Oh no!
Bitchin' cold here, yes. That day was over the top cold. But better than HOT 8)

Congrats! I have to do sub-3:55 again to qualify for age 60 BQ ..

wcooperjr said...

congratulations on a great and inspiring year.

Black Knight said...

Great race, great finishing time and .... great 38 steps! Congrats
Ah.... and great photos too.

Johann said...

End of a great year for you but you worked hard for it. Well done Jill, you deserve this. I believe 2014 will be a great year for both of us. That would just be awesome! Have a fantastic Christmas and remember to drink a glass of wine "with" me.

Raina R. said...

Ha!!
I will follow these steps this winter and hopefully have a reason to go to Boston! What was the deal with the weather?/ You did absolutely incredible! I guess that Leadville training was money accruing interest in the bank. :)
I am beaming for you! You deserved a great year, Jill!

Katie said...

This has to be one of the BEST running blog posts i've ever read in my life! Hilarious! And congratulations on an epic finish to an even more epic adventure.

HalfCrazed Runner said...

Funny post! Great job - Pepto and all!

MILF Runner said...

dude...you totally pimped my pic and didn't even give me any cred. Minus 5000 #bloggypoints for you!

Bonus on the BQ :) And I totally saw you around the 11. I just didn't know it was you! LOL

Great job.

Black Knight said...

Happy New Year.

Kathy said...

Good gracious, how did I miss this post!! So funny! Maybe there's some magic in being miserably sick before race day - remember my Big Sur three day sea sickness fiasco and my awesome race? Still will NEVER get back in a boat, even for a BQ. ;)

Terzah said...

I somehow missed this post too, but you two know how I feel about your races at CIM. I wish I had been there with you (maybe not for the car ride). Congratulations again!

lindsay said...

Congrats on the BQ Jill! Pepto, the magical fuel!! I'll have to try that next time.

Nadine Maltz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.