Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Is it sacrilegious to walk all of Boston?

First of all, before I start getting into the big whine-fest I’m about to enter, let me say that I am truly touched by all the heartfelt warmth of comments on my blog. Who knew when I started this sucker a year ago as a place for me to compose my thoughts about my running, it would transform into what it is today: a world full of love and new friendships – along with a ton of inspiration. I am truly blessed (I know Beth doesn’t like the word blessed, but I really love it). Thank you from the all running fibers in my body....I'm just gonna link a bunch of ya today!

Okay, now onto the good stuff. Hang on, this is going to be one monster rant! (remember Julie when you first got to know me and mentioned in your blog that I was always positive and had only nice things to say? Yeah well, it’s not like I didn’t warn you!!)

Here we go…..

I am still sick. Almost 3 weeks after I caught whatever sinus/lung/chest/headache/cough/ear ringing/sore throat fungus crap, I caught it real good and it’s fighting like crazy to stick around and party on. Oh, I’ve been doused with an occasional “good” day here and there, enough to think I am on the mend and healing well, enough to where I sneak in a run or weight training; but then the next day I’m back to the same crud again and each time, it invited more unwanted party guests. Today at work, oh my lord, had to be one of my worst days since this whole “fungus” started – which was totally exacerbated by the fact the school is remodeling and in the midst of some serious dust with particles so thick in the air, you couldn’t even see down the hallway. My eyes were killing me so bad I couldn’t see my computer at one point. I marched right into who was “in charge” of this mess and asked if they could please contain the pool area (area of current construction) with some plastic or something; a thick cloud of dust was not conducive to my marathon training program for crying out loud!!!!

Needless-to-say, I’m a wee-bit overly stressed. Less than 8 weeks to Boston and I can literally count the number of runs on one hand I have had in 3 weeks. I should be in prime training mode. I should be getting excited about Boston and about the half marathon I have coming up in 3 weeks. I should be in muy primo condition and relishing in the hard work I’ve done.
Yeah, hahahahah…..not so much! I’m seeing massive physical destruction on my body, which is playing havoc with my mental aspects, which is borderline manic as it is. Where is ultra 35-miler treadmill woman when I need her!!!??!!

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! How’s that for frustration!!??!!??!!

Is there such a thing as a lung fungus? Cuz that’s what it feels like, like something is growing on my lungs and inviting a 3000 lb elephant to sit on my sinus cavity causing so much pressure I wish it would just explode and get it over with!!!!

Okay, that was my little (big) temper tantrum. On a brighter note, today when I got home from work, I sinus rinsed (again), downed an antibiotic (again), consumed 2500mg Vitamin C (again. I’m certain I’ll be paying for OD’ing on these thingies but these tasty tables are raspberry, blueberry,& boysenberry and are actually quite yummy. Beings I gave up sugar and all for Lent, I’m eating these babies are like dessert!!!), took a Claritan (again) and took about an hour nap. Woke up, drank a Diet Coke (who knew Diet Coke now has a cute little heart on the can??), ate a banana and felt about 1/3 human. On a “normal” day, that’d be enough to make me crawl back to bed for the rest of the day and hang a “do not distrurb” sign out but on a day after 3 weeks of feeling like a truck slammed into me and I’m so behind in Boston training, I consider this “good” and head off to the gym. I ran for the first time since Saturday’s treadmill marathon, managing to crank out some mile repeats – at a much slower pace than “should be” and a chest that felt like it was on fire on the last 7:19 min/mile (oh good gawd, that hurt!!) but I’ll take it!!!! Right now, I’ll take anything where my legs are moving faster than 3 mph.

I’m certain my frustration with my training is only exacerbating the entire situation; I wake up in the middle of the night with so much anxiety and lay there for eternity. We’ll see what the next few weeks bring as far as training and getting my weight back down…maybe I just need to be grateful I was given the opportunity to go to Boston and just not worry how I perform there. I’m kind of a girl that feels one should respect the race by doing your very best – that means doing all you need to do to be in the best shape possible when you get on the start line. I guess there are forces that are beyond your control that affect this, such as lung disease, so if I need to adjust my attitude here soon, then I will try. We’ll see. I have a half in Atlanta in a few weeks that I am certain is not going to be all that wonderful, but I'll still go and have a great time with my friends there. My goachy, Meg, told me to just take it one day at a time and I'd be okay....I think she also told me to down an entire carton of red wine and a box of chocolates. I don't really like wine so it may be a keg. Or Jamoosh's beer fridge. I'm definitely game on the chocolate! And don't worry Tara and Beth, I'm still running the long run this weekend with ya even if you guys have to carry me! Have fun with that one!!

Speaking of awesome blog support, I opened my mailbox yesterday and a little package sat inside waiting for me. Seems A Mother Runner felt I needed a little love since I’ve been so down and sent me a care package (she gave me the go-ahead to whine about my running...or lack thereof. Thanks :) ). Inside was a cute little 26.2 sticker and a PINK Hair band which I think she said it was a Bondi Band?? (I've never worn them but am excited to give it a whirl!!) which also says 26.2!! Omg. I literally was choked up. She just sent it. Not for my birthday. Not for Christmas. Not because I crossed the finish line of any big race. She sent it for no other reason than to cheer me up. A big pink mail hug! And I really don’t even know her well; we just started becoming blog friends recently….but we do share the same awesome running shoes (can I just say that since I’ve been running in these puppies, I have not had the leg problems I had all summer with my other brand of shoes. KNOCK ON WOOD!) so I guess we’re kindred spirits and all…connected at the foot. She writes an amazing blog and I instantly became attached to her when I found her. Thanks, Mothers!! I love them! Also in the mail was my new bff, Mr. Foam Roller….he’s going to show off how the Bondi Band looks for ya! Awe, I’m all set to get this body healthy and the show on the road. Literally!!!!


A couple other running related items and then I'll let you go (quiet, I know what you're thinking):
- I finally got my website named: mileswithjill.com I’m not overly excited about my name in the thing but as a friend told me, I’m selling myself and having my name in the title will make people remember. More to come on this later; I have a friend from Washington who was part of a group from RW for a Portland Marathon team. He does this website development stuff and actually likes it (unlike me who was challenged registering for a name – ha). Nothing there yet so don't wander over thinking you're going to get loaded full of insiration and awesome running tips. Not just yet.

- If any of you used to follow marathon moms running blog awhile ago on RW, they now have written a book and I have a very small piece in it. Sarah Bowen Shea lives in Portland and paced (reeled) me in the last couple miles in the marathon I did there in October. Dimity lives very close to me in Denver and we chat occasionally and “try” to get in a run … which we will here soon. Both are amazing writers whom I admire and respect. There book is called “Run like a Mother” and here is the link to their website: http://www.runlikeamotherbook.com/ If you click on it and then click on the “J is for jubilant moms” off to the side, you’ll see ME part of the way down with my kiddos. I’ll do more plugging of their book here soon when I have more time to talk to them, but for now, check it out and get yourself a copy! I promise, for all you mother runners out there, I think it will touch your heart!

I hope everyone is running strong and avoiding any lung funguses and elephants on your head- and for Marcia and Elaine, my Boston-bound buddies who are sporting an Achilles “issue” – I hope you heal soon!! (Marcia is taking the safe route and avoiding all running but doing a boat load of cross training. Elaine is still running. Careful E!)

52 comments:

elaine said...

Careful E woke up this morning with NO pain or stiffness in the Achilles after being VERY good after a hard treadmill workout yesterday. Then she did an easy one today withOUT a great ice bath, etc. and it hurts and is stiff. Moral? ALWAYS do ice bath, at least of Achilles, after the runs. Tell Marcia. :)

Jamoosh said...

As long as you can make the time limit, walk all you want!

Julie said...

Good morning Jill,
I am sorry to hear that you are still a little under the weather. I really hope that you get well soon:) Ha ha, Jill your little spouting off does not even come close to being as bad as you think....I still love you!! Even with the tiny and wee bit of venting you do, you are still cheerful and upbeat!! Take care of you and stay positive:)

Ewa said...

As long as you can make it to the finish line (walking, crawling, whatever) it's OK. For now take care of yourself, as it seems you are doing already. I ignored the initial symptoms of flu last fall and then paid for it missing the marathon. I don't think walking and crawling with a 104 fever would have been wise.
Anyway, feel better soon.

Teamarcia said...

Bless your heart girlfriend things are tough in Jillville! So sorry that crud is hanging on and compromising your Beantown training. Remember it's how we handle the hand we're dealt. If you walk Boston (you won't) so friggin what? You're doing your best. What more is there? Hugs and thanks for the achilles love.

C2Iowa said...

Everyone has already said it the best way. I agree, though I am not a runner yet, with Teamarcia: "Remember it's how we handle the hand we're dealt. If you walk Boston (you won't) so friggin what? You're doing your best. What more is there?" Well said. Hope that you get well soon.

Staci Dombroski said...

I am so sorry that you have not been feeling good! Things have been going around here like crazy with viruses and infections! I hope you get better soon!

Danielle said...

Thank you for your rant:) Good to hear others vent as well. I'm sorry you are still sick. I have started taking Acidophilus (you know the good stuff they put in yogurt)once a day and have a noticed a huge difference in feeling better. I usually get sinus infections several times a year...but this year I have a had a sniffle here and there but have gotten better quickly. Good luck! I'll think about your running while you're here in Atlanta...and hope that the weather improves before your run.

Marlene said...

I sure hope you feel better soon... and I hope you feel better after letting out all of those frustrations. Sometimes you just have to vent!

And I agree, go ahead and walk Boston if you have to, but hopefully you'll be able to pick up your training SOON!

ShutUpandRun said...

Awwwww....this stinks. If your friend was telling you everything you just told us, wouldn't you just give her a hug, tell her it would be okay and tell her not to be so hard on herself?? You will be fine. You are incredibly fit and strong in the mind. Within a week or so, if you continue to take care of yourself, you'll be feeling much better and much stronger. What would marathon training be without a week or two thrown in when we completely question EVERYTHING. Don't let the self doubt get the best of you. We will pep talk more on Sunday. I think I'm only doing 16 cause I'm doing ten today. Did we decide where to meet? And yes, you are BLESSED. And so I am I.

Psyche said...

Sorry to hear you are still stuck with the crud. Sounds severe! As C2Iowa said, it's how we handle the hand we're dealt. When "bad" things happen you have to switch into "deal" mode- which is ALSO great training for the marathon! See how I tied that back to running?

Feel better soon:)

Megan said...

Dang, girl. Go to the doctor and get and get him to give you a shot (or two) in the butt. It'll knock that cold right out. :)

Sorry you're feeling bad. That's so frustrating.

AZ said...

My Boston marathon was sooooooo slow. Don't worry about that, it's a great marathon to enjoy at any pace.

Can't make up for lost training, you'll just injure yourself. Just pick up when you can.

HC said...

Sorry you're still not feeling well. I'm a big believer in what I call 'competing at where you are in life,' meaning if the best you've got for this Boston this year involves some walking that's completely okay, it's the fact that you're out there doing what you can that counts.

Katie A. said...

I have a lot of confidence in you and I know that once you kick this "fungus" you'll be back to the "old" Jill in no time! Boston is still a ways away (at least that is what I am telling myself!) and you will have plenty of time to get back. I have been sending so many healthy/healing vibes your way, I can't believe it isn't working! :(
Stay positive and enjoy your run this weekend with those fun ladies - I am super jealous you get to run with them and that they get to run with you!!!!
(((Hugggss)))

saundra said...

I hope you start feeling better soon! Have you tried Allegra yet? It's an asthma med that works great for sinuses. I should know, I'm medicated 365 days/yr or suffer the consequences. The OTC crap stopped working...Maybe you can ask your ENT about it? Nevertheless, I look forward to seeing you in Atlanta in a month!

Slomohusky said...

sorry jill. just know, like you don't already, eveything changes. last april i picked up a bug while visiting family in seattle. most likely from the plane flight. i was out 3 weeks. longest i have gone without running in 14-15 months now. here is another cliche of cliche though. it is was only because it's true - this whole thing will make you stronger. your body needs the rest, enjoy it. you will be kicking the miles again soon.

NY Wolve said...

Whoa, I detect some pent up frustration! I agree with whomever said to take it one day at a time. And remember this is for you. The best you can do in Boston is to do your your best given the limitations life throws at you. Many of us strive to BQ, and are jealous of your opportunity. But I also know the work and dedication to bring you to this point and perceived frustration at not being in A+ form going in. But on the other hand, don't let that detract from the quality of the experience. I know easier said than done, and I had a tough stretch going into my last marathon and didn't do as well as I wanted. But looking back now, the important thing was doing it.

Whitney said...

Ugh, I'm sharing your frustration with sickness. I hope that you get better soon and can rock Boston.

Stephanie said...

That is so fun to recieve a cool, cheer-me up package in the mail! That has to help motivate you to get back out there!
I was reading the March issue of Runners World last night, and it had an article about Kara Goucher and how she has struggled for years on the psyche of running. It was a GREAT article and a great motivation on days when you don't think you can run, or deserve to run a big race. If you haven't already, I would recommend you check it out!
Good luck with your training, and remember just qualifying for Boston is HUGE!!! Running it will just be the icing on the cake!

Marathon Maritza said...

Yikes, girl, get better soon! I have a feeling that once you get to Boston, no matter what, that adrenaline and excitement of the town and event will carry you through.

Mark said...

I'm pullin' for you, Jill.

onelittletrigirl said...

In my book, however you make it to the finish line is golden! You made it to Boston...you deserve that spot. Like I say (ok..I preach it) Finishing is Winning!!!!

Velma said...

This is your party and you can rant if you want to. The same woman who rocked the treadmill (who else could freakin do this type of torture) last weekend is going to crush the marathon. Let yourself rest when you need it. If you feel tried at the marathon, remember all the people like me who are still in the beginning of the Boston road and would love to punch their ticket someday (I just really want a jacket!)

I am going to check out that book. Thanks for the heads up.

misszippy said...

Wow--you covered a lot here! First, congrats on being featured in the book. It looks like a great read. Second--I totally feel ya on the crappy health leading up to a marathon. I had the same never-ending stuff leading up to my fall marathon. Missed lots of training, and still PRd. If nothing else, just remember it's Boston and so much of the experience is just being there. I had one of my worst races there but it's still a fond memory b/c it was Boston!

Morgan said...

I know a lot of people are struggling with Boston training right now, I'm sorry you are in the same boat. Just keep focused on getting healthy and if all else fails you could just run Boston as a fun run, I mean you already put in the work to qualify, wouldn't you like to enjoy every moment of it anyway? Technically qualifying for it makes it your *prize* so if you end up undertrained when it's time, why not just try to see the bright side and make it the most fun you can? Sorry there goes my Suzy Sunshine trying to find the good in everything. I feel for you girl, I can't imagine how hard it is to be in that position after all your hard work. Get better soon!

runningcommentaries said...

You have PLENTY of time. You'll do great-- it's just going to take some patience and I know that being sick and suffering is lame, but you'll get there. You've run several marathons and your body will know what to do. You may not PR (but then again you might) but you'll enjoy it and be ready to go!

Running and living said...

Jill, try to let go of the pressure. The bugs these days are getting so strong, and being sick so long can really get to you, which does not help. You have plenty of time until Boston, just run by feel, skip a run and sleep in, and be good to yourself! This too shall pass!

Heather said...

Sorry you're feeling so sick and frustrated. Sending lot of good healing vibes your way!

L.B. said...

If we went out and raced right now, in your condition, you'd still whip my arse. I know that's not much consolation, but it's true.

I hope you get better soon, and hopefully you'll feel re-energized when you do come out of this and maybe you'll get to Boston in prime shape after all.

Anne Marie said...

Oh, I'm soooooo sorry to hear that you're still feeling sick. NOOOOO! I'm just admitting to myself that I'm sick and official took today off from training, so I'm really, really hoping it subsides soon.
And although I'm sad for you and your sickness, I just love reading and feelin' the love that's coming from your blog & readers. I mean, how absolutetly sweet that a bloggy friend sent you that stuff.
ANd you're gonna be in a running mom book?
And you have a new cool website name?
And all of your comments are some serious paragraphs which only shows how much you're loved!
so glad i've found you and your blog;-)

Katie A. said...

I got your email but my email is not cooperating! I tired to reply but it won't go through!
I'm haning in - glad you're having a better day. My knees have been killing me! Like old lady pain - I think it's from my quads being tight but I have rolled and rolled and they still are hurting. I'm swamped at work and training is overwhelming me.
Enough about me - let me know how things are. I will try to email back but I don't know what's going on!!!

ajh said...

I had written you a comment earlier when my connection disconnected. Let me try again. Just enjoy Boston however possible. Take your camera. Take pictures. Talk to the runners near you. Walk, do whatever.
Just enjoy it!

Jameson said...

Rest is VERY important for running, so this may end up being helpful...I'm currently working while my coworker is giving a lecture on preventive injury for running and the importance of rest. GOOD LUCK!

Sarah Bowen Shea said...

Thanks for the book shout-out, Jill. I am SO sorry you have been down for the count with the creeping crud!!

Dimity and Sarah said...

Ditto, Jill--thanks for the shout-out. We WILL run together soon. I'm doing the 10-miler this weekend. Very slow, just running, not racing. You in? Let me know. :)

Robin said...

Run it, walk it, crawl it... you've earned your spot. Now go and enjoy the party. Oddly, we seem to be on a parallel universe thing right now (and we just met!): serious illness cancelling out all training efforts before a big race and very first Bondi Band as a gift recently (mine's from Morgan - thanks, girl!). Cool thing about the book! Who knew about Diet Coke's newest look? Hope whatever's ailing you finds a new home soon! HUGS from Orlando!

Tina @GottaRunNow said...

Rest and get well, but don't give up yet!

Razz said...

I agree with Jamoosh. And it pains me to say that.

Happy Feet 26.2 said...

So here's the thing. Years of trying to BQ and I always said if I ever BQ'ed, I would just go and enjoy the race (jog it, not race it) then after ST. George and qualifying, I totally changed my mind and wanted to go and run my best on the Boston course - race it. Then the hip injury thingy, so back to go and enjoy the race. Now training is going better and I am thinking maybe I can race it, but you know what, I qualified and that's all that matters. I am going to go and enjoy the race - whether I race it, or jog it, it's going to be fun. I hope you can decide to go at it like this too. You still have time. Green Tea, apples, and rest.

Meg said...

Gosh, Sweetie, all of this advice is so spot on! I have nothing left to add...just keep taking it one day at a time...our bodies, although, well-used :) , are amazing and VERY capable. HANG IN THERE! I'll walk with you...whatever we have to do to get you across that finish line...piggy back ride? ?
By the way, I said drink a "box" of wine and yes, a box of chocolates. Truly, did you look into the steriods??? I'm serious. They kicked a massive sinus infection of mine a couple of years ago. They ARE legally prescribed for horrible infections!!
HUGS Honey Bun,
megsie

shellyrm aka jogging stroller mama said...

I understand you frusration. Being sick right now (being sick for 3 weeks!) is not what you want or need. You have loads of time before Boston. Don't panic. You will find the remedy for this "fungus" soon. And even if you walk, roll, roller skate across you will cross that finish line and many more. BUT you want to enjoy as many of those journeys as you can. Deep Breath.

You have some wonderful bloggy friends who really care! Who says that bloggy land friends are not real. I have seen more kindness here lately than I have seen around me in my daily life. Really. Runners/moms are the nicest people.

I just know you are going to get back on track in your health and training. *hugs*

Matt Jenkins said...

"maybe I just need to be grateful I was given the opportunity to go to Boston and just not worry how I perform there. I’m kind of a girl that feels one should respect the race by doing your very best – that means doing all you need to do to be in the best shape possible when you get on the start line."

I bet you'll be fine! Just don't let all the anxiety ruin the experience. Good luck and enjoy the training!

Glenn Jones said...

Have you seen a doctor? Anything that sticksareound fo that long is likely an infection of some type that a course of antibiotics would work on....

Like AZ says - lost miles are lost miles. Concentrate on gettng well first.

Irene said...

I've had the crud, fungus, infection, crap since December and have *just* gotten over it (knock on wood)... I hope you're over the worst of it, but I really want you get over this crud and the elephants on your head completely. Sheesh. Get some more rest and hit up your doctor again, if you need to!

Be well!

Sherri said...

So excited to read more about your running adventures. You have a beautiful blog!

Beth said...

So sad you are sick!! YUCK! You are allowed to whine when you are that sick.

lindsay said...

to me, it's more about the journey TO boston than the actual race. qualifying can be a tough battle - the reward is getting to be in the race and we should enjoy it! sure a pr would be great, but life throws curveballs at times - like getting sick, injured, or having work go crazy. i see nothing wrong with enjoying all the sights and sounds of boston!

feel better!

Teamarcia said...

Glad you're feeling better today! Now it is I who has contracted Thing 2's fever. Blech.
Achilles is feeling gooood! I got the green light to run again next friday! : )
Thanks for asking!

Jenn said...

The best part about having your own blog is you get to have a big "whine: fest!!! Wow, this sickness is really beating you down-not fun! I'm not sure if I ever congratulated you on your treadmill marathon!! Quite a sense of accomplishment when you complete something like that-I've done mine this year but pretty certain it would have to be a monsoon outside for me to do it again!! I agree with Meg, one day at a time. You're in great shape, concentrate on the positive each day and do what you can. When you toe up at Boston do the best you can given your circumstances and be happy with that!! You haven't lost much the last 3 weeks-over 7 to go! Honestly, that box of wine would totally help!! PS-totally game for buying the condo and getting out of this snow infested country!!

Shari said...

I am pulling for sunshine-y weather and perfect temps while you are here. May be we can sunshine the fungus right out of you. Or at least laugh it out of you . . . or SOMETHING! You are inspiring even when you whine, Jill ; )

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