Week 9 2010 / It's going to be Okay...

Week 9 2010:
Week’s Running totals: 44
Running Total for 2010: 383.45
Weight training: 2
Swim: zero (um, that's three weeks and no swimming. I’ll blame this week on Tara :) )

I’m sitting at my desk at work, it’s 9:00a.m. That’s 11:00a.m. Boston time ....at exactly this time in exactly 6 weeks, I figure I'll be about mile 4 into Boston.

Surely I'm not the only one that does this, look at the clock at various (massive) times of the day, week, and month and start a countdown of where I'll be during a race!!?? I guess it helps get the mindset ready for the task as hand for all the hard work we've done.

My training started out with a bang at the beginning of the year. I made a plan, a mighty ambitious one, and was bound determined it was not going to defeat me. I went to Boston last year feeling well-prepared, but little did I know I wasn't. I found out at the top of the infamous Heart Break Hill that I had a lot more work to get myself ready and vowed I'd be back in much better condition this year. I started the year out on a roll feeling great, running strong, with some awesome speed work.

I guess sometimes someone has other plans for us. In my case, Mother Nature (or the germ-infested high school where I work) and her powerful pre-springtime ritual of providing Jill with heavy doses of whatever crud is out there lurking decided to take up room and board in her sinuses. And her lungs.

Frustrated. Angry. Sad. Depressed. Every downer emotion flooded my head. I’ve gained 5 lbs in my training slump. 4 weeks of prime marathon training right down the toilet. Err.

We've all been there, at least those of us that have played this game a time or twenty. There are no guarantees. That's the gamble we take, and need to accept.

I'm feeling better, finally, though not 100%. I had an extremely slow 22-miler on Saturday that helped at least boost the confidence that I *can* run 26 miles in Boston, albeit way slower than last year.

And I'm wrapping my brain around this and accepting it for what it is. Last year when I qualified, everyone under the sun that had been there and ran it told me not to race Boston, just go and "experience" all it had to offer and have a blast on the course. The cross country coach at my school, who is an incredible marathoner, told me Boston was to be experienced, not nervous about. My then-trainer told me I needed to just run it for the adventure so when I went this year, I'd know more about the course and where my weaknesses lie and could run stronger this year with the knowledge of having already run it. This "experience" scenario never sat well with me; I'm a girl who wants to perform my best if I've invested the time, energy and in Boston's case, a crap-load of money. I told him who knew what the next year would bring; yes I was already in for 2010 but there were a slew of variables that maybe wouldn't allow me to race it hard, let alone even go. I raced Boston last year and I even managed to have a blast along the way (well, aside from mile 22 when I was hurled over with major stomach cramps).

And this year will be no different. Despite losing a lot of valuable conditioning and most likely not running faster than I did last year, I was given the gift to be there and as Pre says, to give anything less is sacrificing my hard work. I guess my foresight was right, had I not raced Boston last year, I'd never be forgiving myself right now. I may not race as well as I want nor finish as fast as I know I can this year, but I will be there and I will not take it for granted. It's all going to be okay.

Ah, I’m now looking forward to it! Finally! I can tell because pre-marathon anxiety is starting to set in....

I'm going to take a new approach and turn down the quantity and up the intensity. I've proved I can run the distance, now I just gotta do a little extra speed work. I have a little time....

Right now, as I finish this post up, I'm around mile 14....and feeling damn good!!! I will finish, and I will have a blast along the way!

Run well, friends!