How to Race CIM in 38 Steps

I've run races 4x as large as CIM (Boston, Chicago) and none has been as clustered at the start as CIM

1) have friend (Katie) pick me up at 430am for 8000 hour drive to California.  In the coldest weather recorded on earth.  Ever.
2) drive an hour to realize said friend dropped her phone in my driveway when she picked me up.  Drive back to get it.  In rush hour traffic.  Actual departure time is now 3 hours later than planned.
3) stop in Laramie, WY to get gas.  Car thermometer reads a balmy -21 degrees (without windchill factored in). OhhhhMyyyyGodddd!

4) toes take eternity to thaw out, just in time to get out of the car again for more gas.
5) 3 dogs tagging along for the fun get into dog fight and bite Katie's finger.
6) adorable 4-year old, also tagging along, has a melt-down about being stuck in the car for 400 hours (who can blame her?).
6) stop in Elko, NV for the night in raunchy hotel.  If you've been to Elko (who the hell would?), 'nuff said.  If you haven't - no need to rush there.
7) day 2 of eternity car trip from hell: eat shit all day.

8) start to feel nauseous.
9) start to feel REALLY nauseous.
10) have Katie pull the car over 30x to get some fresh air so I don't barf all over her (and the kid and the 3 dogs...though 2 of the dogs may have deserved it).
11) consider a lobotomy.
12) laughed for 20 minutes when this song came on...

 12) Leave snow-ridden, freezing Colorado to finally arrive in California - to snow.  

13) arrive at Katie's parents' house only to instantly go lie down for 2 hours due to severe car sickness.  I'm such an awesome guest!
14) invest in multiple bottles of Pepto Bismol.
15) go for a 3-mile run; want to die at a 10:30 pace.
17) go to expo and receive the ugliest shirt in my 37 year racing career.

18) listen to speaker at expo announce to crowd, "32 degrees is freezing.  Seriously, 32 degrees is freezing, people.  It will be colder than freezing at race start.  Remember 32 degrees is freeeeeeeeezing temperatures..." 
19) not thinking California would be gunning for record low temps, I brought no freeeeeeeeezing temperature race apparel.
20) shop at Good Will for race-day throw away clothes.  Buy Pepto Bismol colored pink down coat (yes, the Pepto is now becoming a theme).  Gawd, I miss that coat.
21) Katie's aunt (who graciously allowed me to stay the night there, and fed me - or at least tried to) looked at me at our night-before-race dinner and proclaimed, "You look a little green."
22) Drink Pepto Bismol for pre-race dinner.
23) Drink Pepto Bismol for race morning breakfast.

24) line up at start line with 3:55 pace group.  Wonder what the hell I'm doing here.
25) face plant at mile 2 (yes, that's correct, this a road race).  Leave some skin on the pavement from the knee, tweak the shoulder, bruise the hip, and rip two half dollar sized holes in the palm of my gloves.  

26) try to run by effort and not look at my Garmin for assistance.  
27) bahahahahahaha!
28) effort feels too fast....so I speed up (and leave the pace group behind).
29) mile 10: think to myself that I should have done more uphill hill work (apparently 6 months of vertical Leadville training was fruitless when you take 4 months off from it.  Who knew?).
30) miles 10-20 are some of my fastest miles.  I feel great, perceived effort be damned.
31) mile 21 I start to slow.  Imagine.
32) mile 23 feels like death would be a better alternative to continuing on...then all of a sudden, Jesus appeared out of nowhere to read me my fate.

33) mile 24: trying to do math to see if I can still get under BQ time.  Impossible.  
34) By the grace of some unbeknownst force (which was NOT my will the last 3 miles), I....

Boston Qualified!

35) actually choked up when medal (also ugly) was hung on my neck; it suddenly occurred to me I just wrapped up what has been one helluva incredible racing year.  I truly couldn't be more grateful!  A storybook fairy tale ending. tear.
36) rectified ugly race shirt with new, awesome shirt!

37) gave Katie the BIGGEST hug when she crossed that finish line - her very first marathon - with absolutely zero stomach problems.  The girl's had one disastrous long training run after another due a protesting stomach. Thankfully (?) her mom recently had knee surgery and gave Katie one of her anti-nausea prescription meds prior to the race.  It worked like a charm, and Katie was beaming (and she didn't have to down 4 bottles pink chalk tasting crap, like someone).

Triumphant Katie!  SO proud!

I didn't copy this; I stole it.

38) Not my speediest, but for the effort I put going into this race, it was an incredibly amazing day!  And I was delighted to share it with this mighty fine woman!  

Time: 3:56:23
AG: 40/270

Run strong, my friends!